CONQUEST OF THE USELESS PART 1

I’m writing this account to look back on more than anything else, a record of a moment I suppose. I don’t consider myself to be a writer of any sorts and am certainly not attempting to join the league of either successful or unsuccessful people who put words on paper. By the end of my trip, which this is all about, I can hopefully look back and laugh at my absolute uselessness in preparing to ride my bike for more than the five miles it is to where I work.

I should start by pointing out that my travelling companion, the legendary Craig Barker, is as useless as I am in preparing for this trip to Brussels. We only have a map for part of the journey and whilst lightly skimming through it I have realised it has no road names on it. Furthermore we have no idea where we are supposed the cross border between France and Belgium.

I admit I am a serious worrier about most things in life but the fact that I have bought a torch for this trip seems to settle me. There are a hundred and one more important pieces of equipment I need but at the moment my torch is my lifeline for when things go bad.

My personal fitness is another issue and I am struck by serious concern when my friend’s reactions to my lack of training are on display. My time spent leading up to this trip has mostly consisted of drinking too much alcohol and generally not managing my life very well. A swim here and a bike ride there is all I’ve got to offer in terms of physical preparation but I am determined.

‘Determined’ is a word I am reluctant to use because of its connotations. I would prefer to say that if I did not manage to complete the whole trips distance on my bike I would be terribly embarrassed, therefore I going to put in the effort to reach the end line. The option to hop on a train and not tell anyone is always there and is something of a comfort knowing but in all honesty is not an option because I am so ‘DETERMINED’!

Anyway I am off to pump up my tires and eat some sort of power food to fuel my voyage. I’ve set my sails but expect the wind to be blowing in the wrong direction.